He Will Meet No Suave Discussion
by ShadowShock
Summary: G1. Don't mess with Chip!


_Disclaimer: All Tranformers and related characters are copyright to Hasbro/Takara. I am in no way making any profit off of this fiction.  
This was written for the TCA Feburary 2005 fanfiction contest at tfarchive:org_

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"Hey, Wheeljack!"

I yelled my greeting from the floor to be sure it'd get the scientist's attention before hauling myself up the little steps next to his table. "Little" being a comparative word here, they were still too large to comfortably step up on so I had to resort to hoisting myself up each one. Oh well, it was better than nothing till Wheeljack got around to fixing it.

"Why hello there." Wheeljack replied warmly, glancing down, his 'ears' lighting up a bright blue and yellow gave away his good mood. "What brings you here?"

"Looking for the love of my life," I panted as I hauled myself onto the last step. Turning to look back down, I waved a hello to Chip, who was sitting in his wheelchair across the room at a computer Wheeljack and Preceptor had built for him. "While I was here, I thought I'd stop by and check up on that contraption I asked you about." I turned back, peered over the tabletop and found it cluttered with all sorts of science junk, which worked - only Wheeljack knew how.

"Oh, yes! The ultimate self-defense against maniacal sentient robots." His lights flashed excitedly as he put his tools down and pushed his current project aside, creating a patch of clear table. "I finished the prototype already. All we need to do is have you test it and see how it works. Here, get on the table and I'll get it out."

He put his hand down to my height and I hopped in without hesitation, settling comfortably in the cradle his warm metal fingers curled to create. He carefully lifted me up and set his hand down on the table. Hopping off, I stared in amazement at the jumble. "Gee, Wheeljack, how many projects do you have going? I hope mine's not taking up your time!"

The Autobot scientist chuckled as he stepped away from the table to open up a storage container and began to poke around inside it. "It's no bother, don't you fret." He found what he was looking for, closed the lid and made his way back to the table. "As to the number of projects, well... There's the piece of equipment from Perceptor that I'm trying to repair and improve. Sideswipe asked me for some modifications - don't ask what. Oh yeah, and than there's the doohicky I got, courteously of the Australian Military. Then-"

"Aaaagh, stop already Wheeljack!" I cried, waving my arms in mock surrender as I laughed. "Let's just take a look at what you've got for me."

He obliged by setting down the objects he was carrying next to me. "It's a little on the big side, but once we iron out any problems I can make another one that's more your size."

He was right about it being on the big side. One object was an uncomfortable-looking sleeveless jacket that reflected like metal, the back looking much like some sort of backpack. The other object was a long cylinder with a strap mounted on the top behind a curved lever. At one end, in front of the lever, were three prongs mounted on a rotating disk. The other end had a bunch of wires coming out connecting the 'gun' portion to the jacket's back.

"Soo... what is this?" I asked, eyeing the contraption.

"This here," Wheeljack poked the jacket, "is nonconductive, and you'll need to wear it since you're so close to the weapon. Plus, it's carrying the battery with the power to run the ARC gun."

I picked up the jacket and found it surprisingly light, but it was still far heavier than your average Alaskan jacket. "What's it made out of?" I questioned as I started to put it on. "It looks like metal."

"It's actually a woven ceramic mesh which allows for maximum flexibility and it also serves as protective armor. It'll harden when hit and spread the shock throughout the rest of the jacket, so it'll help in case, say, one of the smaller mechs decide to take a swipe at you."

"Wow, thanks Wheeljack." I was impressed. And I'd only talked to him about the idea two weeks ago. Snapping the last buckle of the mesh jacket, I cocked my head up at him. "You really went all out on this."

His ears glowed, telegraphing the smile that was hidden behind his faceplate. "Only the best for you."

I laughed. "Thanks. But next time, could you maybe install a mini-air cooler or something? I'm getting warmed up already." I shrugged my shoulders, trying to settle the weight of the battery pack.

"Consider it first on the fix-it list. Now with the gun, you use the strap to carry it on your shoulder; the lever in the front is the firing trigger. You pull it towards you to fire."

I hoisted the weapon onto my left shoulder with a grunt. At first I tried to just use my left hand to grip the trigger lever but I couldn't control the gun very well; it kept tilting the wrong way. Finally I found that if I wrapped my left arm around the gun and used my right hand to hold the trigger, I could point it any way I wanted.

"Well, a couple things to add to that list. First-"

Suddenly I froze, alarm bells on an instinctive level telling me something was no longer right. Wheeljack saw me freeze and eyed me, puzzled. "What's wro-"

I silenced him with a frantic wave of my hand, eyes darting around. Really, I was as confused as Wheeljack, but I couldn't ignore my gut feeling. It was telling me I had sensed something that meant danger.

Then I spotted it. Or him, to be precise. Ravage. If I hadn't seen his movement from the corner of my eye, I would have missed him entirely until it was too late. He was slinking along the wall in shadow, much like the panthers on the nature channel, stalking their prey. Only instead of deer, Ravage's prey was Chip.

I felt anger rise in me. Out of all the humans to prey upon, of course the Decepticons wanted Chip. He was bright, knew all sorts of stuff, and best of all? He couldn't run or defend himself very well, through no fault of his own. The strong preying on the weak. That just ticked me off to no end. It always reminded me of a certain bully back in my second grader days.

I whirled and grabbed the first object that came to hand. It didn't matter what it was, just so it looked throwable - I hadn't taken all those days of javelin throwing in high school for nothing. Spotting something that looked like it could have been Goliath's spear, I picked it up. Spinning back around, and ignoring Wheeljack's voice rising in alarm, I threw the spear as with as much force and accuracy as I could manage.

It flew across the room amazingly well. I was halfway down the stairs, leaping down each step, when it pierced Ravage behind his shoulder blade. He leaped into the air, yowling and swiping at the shaft with his good paw. He landed back on the floor about the same time I leaped from the last step, adrenaline pumping through my systems.

"Get away from Chip!" I roared, charging across the floor. Chip was a good friend and there was no way I was letting the Decepticon's get their dirty, cowardly hands on him. Ravage turned to glare at me, snarling. But instead of attacking me he turned and started for Chip again, abandoning all stealth. Drat, I had to stop him now before he got a hold of Chip.

"Hey, I'm talking to you! What's the matter, can't face me, coward? Are you scared of ImeI?"

That got him. He skidded and whirled around, optics blazing red as he let out a roar that sent a shiver down my back. Then again... maybe that hadn't been such a good idea... Oh well, no backing out now. I tightened my grip the ARC's fire lever as Ravage leaped at me.

I dodged to the side, instinct working faster than actual thought and putting me on the tape's left side; his bad side. He landed and tried to swipe at me, but his left front leg was hindered by my spear and gave out on him. As he went down I kicked at his optic with the heel of my shoe, part of me aghast at my daring. I mean, kicking him in the optic. We're talking Ravage here!

Apparently he didn't think it was a very good idea either. With a snarl that was probably his way of telling him that I was to become his main course, he scrambled to his feet, his left optic squinting. That pleased me, but only briefly. It was time to put Wheeljack's toy to the real test before I really did become dead meat.

"Eat this instead," I growled more confidently than I felt, pulling the lever.

I couldn't have been more pleased at the result. The prongs spun in a blur and the center released a bolt of blue that struck the Decepticon in the chest before he could take another step closer, knocking him back a good twenty feet. He laid where he'd landed for a few seconds, limbs twitching. Then he let out a stuttered cough and staggered to his feet. Turning his head, he gave me the evil eye through his one good optic.

I froze, holding my breath as I stared at him, waiting for him to make the next move. What he did next left me blinking, stunned.

He turned and ran for the door. Ravage. Running from me. You don't know what a boost that gave to my ego. But no way I was letting him off this easily!

"Don't you scurry from me!" I hollered, taking off after him. It wasn't too hard to keep up with him, since he was running on three legs, his left foreleg still immobilized by Goliath's spear.

**x-x x-x**

"Wait!" Wheeljack cried, arm outstretched. But it was too late. The human had already left the room, a battle cry worthy of an Amazon Warrior echoing down the halls. Putting a hand to his head and muttering under his breath, he made his way to the wall where the control panel was located.

Chip was still staring at the door where the two beings had disappeared. "She's crazy! That's Ravage. Ravage is like... a big cat, he'll tear her apart, even with that ARC machine she's got."

"Chip," Wheeljack asked, sounding somewhat resigned, pushing the security alert button. "You ever seen a bobcat?"

Chip looked up, puzzled. "Not really, why?"

"Nasty little creatures. Nastier than they have a right to be. Ravage may be a cat, but he's just met the Lynx." He turned his attention back to the panel as alarms screeched through the Ark and Prowl's voice came over the intercom, Red Alert frantically talking double speed in the background.

**x-x x-x**

During down time, the rec room was a good place to relax and unwind. The Autobots and their small friend were doing just when the alert shrieked through the comm systems, sending them all leaping to their feet and towards the door.

Being the closest, Hound was the first to reach the exit. He stepped through and suddenly skidded to a halt, arms windmilling in an effort to stay upright. Unfortunately, Sideswipe and Sunstreaker were right behind him and didn't stop in time. Slamming into him, the twins and nature lover went tumbling into the hallway, a tangle of limbs and curses - the latter coming mostly from Sunstreaker.

Lagging behind so as not to upset his friend from his shoulder, Bumblebee was able to avoid the whole mess and step into the hallway. Looking towards the exit he caught a glimpse of what had tripped up Hound, and felt his jaw drop. Pointing a finger at the figure, he turned to Spike.

"Was that-?"

"Woohhh, did you see how fast Ravage was - Sunny, shut the slag up and get off me!" Sideswipe shoved at his twin, eager to give chase. "Hey, Carly! Leave something for us!" He bellowed down the hall as the metal cat and human girl disappeared around the corner.

"Go blow a gasket!" Sunstreaker snarled, shoving back at his brother. But he untangled himself quickly enough and was the first to transform and squeal away, Sideswipe and Hound not far behind. Setting Spike down, Bumblebee transformed into vehicle mode and opened his door. Hardly waiting for Spike to slide in, he popped a wheelie and gave chase.

**x-x x-x**

They caught up with Carly at the entrance of the Ark, Warpath now in tow, in time to see her fire the gizmo she'd been carrying at Ravage. The blue bolt snaked out to Ravage like it was alive, sending him tumbling down the slope and out of view.

"And stay away, you two-bit micro-chip!" Caly called after him.

Sideswipe let out a whistle of admiration. "You go girl!"

"Bam, Carly, I didn't know you had so much, shazam!"

"Carly?" Spike asked timidly, as if afraid that an alien had taken over his girlfriend's body.

She turned around and her face lit up with a smile upon seeing him. "Spike! Just the man I was looking for!" She shook her head, tossing her sweaty blonde hair out of her face. "My car's in the shop and I need someone to take me to the mall. Your dad told me you had your wheels with you and dropped me off here before going to work. Would you be a dear and take me?"

Spike glanced at the weapon that Carly still cradled too comfortably for his taste, then past her to where Ravage had vanished. He decided not to make an issue of it. "Uh... yeah, sure Carly."

"Oh, I knew it! You're such a sweetie!" She shrugged the strap higher onto her shoulder and started unbuckling the metal mesh jacket. "Would one of you kind mechs take this for me?" She asked, unsnapping the last buckle and shrugging out of it.

"Sure, I'll take it." Hound bent down and put his hand out. "Where'd you get it?"

Carly dumped it and the ARC into his hand, relieved to be free of its weight. "From Wheeljack. Now if you don't mind, Spike, I'm going to take a quick shower and then I'll be ready to go." She sauntered past the Autobots and into the Ark.

"Wheeljack!" Hound repeated, looking at the stuff in his hand with severe distrust. The thought of tossing it to one of the twins and running for his life crossed his mind before he decided that Wheeljack wasn't the type of mech to give something to Carly if it had a chance of hurting her.

"Oh, man. Like my life wasn't hard enough to begin with!" Spike moaned, smacking a hand to his forehead. He looked up at Bumblebee, his face showing resignation. "She just topped my feat of chasing off Ravage with a car battery and jumper cables, didn't she?"

Sideswipe grinned at the human. "Oh yeah, you better believe it."

Spike sighed and stuffed his hands into his pockets. "I'm doomed."

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To my reviewers;

**Tiamat1972:** Thx, I'm glad you have been able to enjoy it!

**PuraJazzBot:** Well... that's why I wrote it. ;)

**MariaShadow:** She was the most obscure character I could think of, and it was a bonus that she was human as well. :)


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